英语笑话
1. 某次英文考试有两道题目:
1)我穿上外套,却发现第一个扣子掉了。
2)他听见电话铃响,就过去接了电话。
正确答案应为:
1) I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.
2)As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.
但是某生的答案是:
1) Shit!
2) Hello?
2. 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我他妈还是方片七呢!
3. 某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry.
老外应道:I am sorry too.
某人听后又道:I am sorry three.
老外不解,问: What are you sorry for?
某人无奈,道:I am sorry five.
4. 某男,亦粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是:Sex,该男思之久已,毅然下笔: “Once a week”。
签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.”
该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female” ,官楞之,曰:“shouldn’t it be male?”
男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have *** with female.
5. 话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。
A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。
A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道:「I AM后羿!」
B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:「I AM丘比特!」
轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句:「 I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」